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Here’s the thing, though: The last relationship he was in lasted almost four years, and they recently broke up. He told me that he really enjoys my company, that he really likes me and would like to continue seeing me if I’m up for it. He stressed that I definitely shouldn’t do anything I don’t want to do sex-wise until I’m ready, and that he hasn’t been with anyone at all since his ex (I’m the only person he’s even been on dates with). But he also admitted that right now, he’s not feeling emotionally ready for a commitment. Of course everyone needs time after a breakup from such a serious relationship to sort things out, and in my mind it’s worth seeing it through. The only problem is I can feel myself falling for this person, and it’s scary to hang your hopes on someone eventually being ready to take the next step. So the question is, do I just be patient, continue getting to know this person and see how it all plays out? Or is it better to step away since we’re obviously in different places in terms of what we’re ready for? I haven’t felt this way about someone in a really, really long time, and it scares me…half the women in my life seem to think it’s worth the risk and the other half are telling me to walk away.


Hi Confused,

This is a common dating dilemma, which is why I chose to write about your conundrum on my blog.

I appreciate this guy’s honesty. You told him what you are looking for, you set an important boundary for yourself regarding sex (let’s hope you hold tight to that boundary), and he gave you an honest answer, while also being respectful of your boundary. When you tell men what you’re feeling and ask questions in a mature way, most will be honest with you. Of course, you have to be prepared to deal with their answers, which is why often times women avoid even asking. It’s easier to pretend in your mind that their answer is the one you want to hear.

Created at 10/17/2021 5:42 PM by  
Last modified at 3/29/2022 11:27 PM by