That’s been my experience as well. More often than not, without any kind of “talk” involved. If you are spending most of your free time together and becomming closer, there is already an understanding you aren’t seeing (fucking) others. “The talk” seems to be necessary when you are unsure of each other – perhaps with good reason.

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Crotch Rocket says:
August 10, 2011 at 4:16 pm
There may or may not be such an understanding, unless you’re together so much that neither of you has time to see anyone else. I prefer to make things explicit so that we know where each other stands and that we agree that we’re intentionally focusing on each other, rather than it just being some happenstance that we’re both going through a dry spell or tough time at work and plan to start seeing others again when possible. And it doesn’t have to be a drawn-out thing either; I’ve had cases where it took less time than writing this comment.

I should point out, however, that the vast majority of my dates ask me, usually on the first date, whether I’m dating anyone else, and my answer is always “yes, but nothing serious.” (And I ask the same in return and always get a similar response.) It is only fair that, when that situation changes, I give them an update. And, in virtually all cases, they’ve told me the same, and we move on from there. It’s only when the other person hasn’t gotten there yet (which is rare in my experience) that a longer talk ensues.


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